Saying "No"

I said "No" today and it felt great!

I used to have a foster daughter, she is now 16 and still very much a part of my life - but she is very demanding and clingy. I have dealt with this is different ways in the past, but now that she no longer lives with me, I need to learn its okay for her to stop relying on me all the time (as hard as that is for both of us).

Anyway, tonight is our staff Christmas party at my house. I am really excited for the party - we always have so much fun. I have been spending most of the day getting ready for it - but have been relaxed and not allowing myself to get stressed over the details.

So, after school, my 16 year old "mentee" calls and wants to know if she and her friend can come over and see my Christmas tree. (I have learned this really means, can we come over, eat all your food and totally stress you out by being wild, crazy, obnoxious and sometimes rude - afterall, we are 16 and think the world revolves around us and our problems are the end of the world). Well, I normally would have said yes only to regret it later. But I said, "No, I'm getting ready for a party now." That of course was followed by another question... and this one is really funny so brace yourself... "Well, can we come over and help you?" Yeah Right! You mean, can you come over and eat all my food and mess up my house and stress me out by being wild, crazy, obnoxious and even rude!? I am so proud of myself, I sort of chuckled and said, "Um, no."

It's not an easy thing to say no, especially to a kid who has had a hard life - but I am learning a few things... 1) its not good for them to always have their way, and 2) if my life gets stressed in the process, what good am I to the kid?

Can I get an Amen?