Slumdog Millionaire

Well, I really wanted to see the movie and I did this afternoon. It is great and a must see! It had me thinking all kinds of thoughts: 1)I can't believe in our world we actually force people to live like that. 2)We should be ashamed of ourselves that poverty is such an issue, India or America.. it should not be anywhere. 3)I still have faith that goodness comes from within and not overlooked because of bad situations.
Those of you who know me well, know that I am not rah rah America. I love our country, but I believe all countries need to be treated equal and that all people are an image of God. But I have to admit, as I watched that movie and different tolerances that are allowed in other countries, I felt blessed to live in a country that doesn't allow some of those awful things to happen. Yes, a lot of bad still happens - but people can't just run into a neighborhood and start killing everyone, nor can people beat a child in the streets and torture them to get answers. Our legal system makes me mad often, but it also makes me glad that people have rights and we are forced to respect one another or face justice. Sure, there is hidden offences, but if its seen, its stopped.
This was an interesting movie for me.

The Art of Saying "No"

I have really been looking forward to this weekend to have a little time of solitude. Yes, I have worried if I will get bored, having no plans, just spontaneious decisions (seriously, I never have free time in a chunk like this, so it's new for me), but I decided to go with it.
I still have another full day but I have already crossed several big items off my to-do-list. And when someone called and invited me to dinner - I was tempted - but said, "No, Thanks." It felt great to say it and not feel like I have to accept just because the offer is there. I need some alone time, I need to re-group and if I start to fill this time with accepting every offer - it will no longer be the alone time I know I need. Just to saty home tonight, a Friday of all times, is in itself art - a chance to see what colors are painted in the fabric of myself and the company of my home and cat. I am sure I will find plenty to do and in the morning I will wake refreshed from the quiet calm of my own personal sanctuary.

Pondering Solitude

I am doing a sermon series this Lent - based on John Indermark's book, Traveling the Prayer Paths of Jesus. My intent is to help us focus on our own spiritual discipline of prayer by journeying with Jesus to his death and resurrection. This first week is "Out of Solitude." I was not going to write out a sermon as I normally do, I was going to do it from the floor without notes as I sometimes do - but I decided to write it out today because many of our older members like to take a copy of the sermon with them to share with friends who live in their buildings, etc. So, I spent the day writing it out and its got me wanting to practice solitude this weekend! It will be good for me - so I am going to give it a whirl (not that I have never done it, I have, but in the face of a very busy life, I rarely have a whole weekend to dedicate). I may still go to a basketball game and possibily a movie I want to see.. but I hope to stay home and practice solitude for the most part. I will let you know how it turns out. As my sermon is pointing, solitude truly is a "practice!"

Ash Wednesday

So, as you know from yesterday's blog: I was struggling with the beginning of Lent. But as the day began with or without my readiness (as it always seems to do), I embraced it!
I decided a few things for myself: This year lent is going to be very much about my personal relationship with God and how that needs to be transformed - not just for 40days - but for my life-long journey. It was incredible because I thought about this all morning, and then, when I walked into my office at 8am, I saw that someone had put a vase of red carnations on my desk! I couldn't help but wonder if it was a way of God inviting me into this period of lifetime self-discovery!? Like, "here I am and I'm excited you are taking this so seriously.. by the way, I love you and I'm in this with you."
So, I have decided:
1. I am going to work really hard on "gracious acceptance" of a person that truly eats away at my inner soul - in an attempt to see this person as God does.
2. I am going to blog or journal on a daily basis - as a way of communicating my thoughts and focusing my day.
3. I am going to do my cardio training 5 days a week - as a personal reflection on myself as a temple of the Holy Spirit.
4. I am going to refrain from saying yes to everything - as a way of taking time for sabbath renewal and personal time with God.
And 5. I am going to give up brussel sprouts. Because I don't eat brussel sprouts anyway and I think giving something up only to go back to it later isn't honoring the life-long journey with God. God knows I dislike brussel sprouts and God knows I will always dislike brussel sprouts. So, why not call a spade a spade and move on to things that will really strengthen my for my life-long journey with God!?

Fat Tuesday

So, I am somewhat disgruntled. I call today Fat Tuesday because its the day to stuff all the food in as preparation for fasting on Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. But here is why I am disgruntled: I am fed up with the wrong impression/idea of Lent. Okay, here goes: Lent is about taking the journey to the cross with Christ, ultimately, its a time to focus on our relationship with God and hopefully come out of it as stronger more focused & connected Christians.
This whole giving up things for 40 days: I have done it and I will probably do it again this year... but it's supposed to be something that brings us closer to our relationship with God. If we give up something (like chocolate) and then after Easter we go right back to it.. what was the point? Where was the inner pull to be closer to God? I get it that its about making a sacrifice like Christ did - but the sacrifice of Christ keeps going. To make a temporary sacrifice that has no hopes of strengthening our faith relationship, is really only mocking the whole thing and making a game of it (I warned you I was crabby). Why not commit to giving up something that is bad for your faith - and in the end realizing you didn't need it and won't go back to it?
Then there is the idea of adding something to your faith practices. This is something Protestant churches have really focused on in the past five years. But again, if we add something we know we will not keep up with after Lent, what's the point, the game will just end. Why not add something that we truly desire to awaken within us?
So.. what do I think? I don't know! I am disgruntled because tomorrow is the beginning of Lent and I am still trying to figure out how to best lead my flock in a practice of transforming our individual (and communal) faith connection/relationship and I have no idea how I am going to do it for myself yet. It needs to be focused on gaining a closer (lasting) reltionship with God.

Time on a Frozen Lake

This week I am house/dog sitting for a family from my church. They have a beautiful home on beautiful Pokegama Lake. Every night I sit out on the deck in the hot tub, starring at the stars and gazing at the moon (really, I do gaze at the moon - it speaks to me!) Yesterday I strapped on some snow shoes and took the dogs on the lake for a nice brisk walk (they ran). I was going to do the same today, but we are having a bad ice storm and the wind is horrible, so I am staying inside. It's fun to be out here all by myself- it's like me, God, and the world... and of course, the two dogs. But I do a lot of thinking when I'm out of the city. Interesting how city like gets you so caught up in routine, so rushed to keep up with its fast paced mentality. And all you do is drive out into the woods about 20 miles and your free from it all. Amazing. I could honestly get used to this. But then, I wonder if I'd be lonely. I wonder if those days I crave action, I'd go nuts until I convinced myself to get int he car and drive into town. Has me thinking how we can be comfortable with our lives, yet a glimpse into something a little more calm and peaceful grabs our attention. I like my action packed, fast paced life. But I also like being able to stop, get away, and breathe the fresh air. It's amazing how the moon lights up the darkness... great metaphor for God's love.

Down to Up

Wow! I have sure been in a bad mood this week! Everything major just seemed to hit me at once and I was trying so hard to stay strong and phew, I can finally breathe. Last week was such a terrible week at Weight Wacthers because the weigh-in lady was so rude to me - that I gave this past week. I went today but didn't want to weign-in because I knew I'd forsure be up in weight. But I was down! Whoo-Hoo. So, it has me back on track and ready to roll again.
I actually get to take my day off tomorrow, so I happy about that. I need to spend time with my cat. Sounds hilarious, but my cat is an indoor house cat, and if I haven't spent much time with her, it means I haven't been home much at all. So, I know I need some "ME" time.

Kind of Bummed

I used to tell myself I shouldn't write when I am in a low mood, kind of bummed - but then I wonder why because sometimes that's my best writing. Anyway, I don't have any huge reason to be sad tonight, I just am. I woke up at 3:30 this morning to travel to St.Paul for JRLC'S Day on the Hill. It was a bittersweet experience this year. I always enjoy talking to legislators about justice issues.. but this year there was an hour where we met with several reps, not just our own, and man, was that draining! They were so hopeless! Kind of like "well, the economy sucks right now and MN is going to take some major hits because of our terrible Governor, so brace yourself!" There was no pep from these reps, no attitude of "we can take them." I thought, well, this is real assuring - we can go back and tell the poor their is no hope so we might as well give up the fight. So much for the bill to end Poverty buy 2020! But then when we met individually with the Grand Rapids rep and senator, we saw a much better attitude. They sure don't like the Governor, but they at least see hope if we keep working on plans, etc. I felt much better but then I got a terribke headache and the rest of the day was just shot.
And I'm beating myself up over a terrible week on Weight Watchers. I know I will get right back on it, but I'm just mad at myself and nothing is going to make me feel better until next week when I take it seriously again. Some days/weeks are just negatives and its plain hard to get back on the band wagon. Especially when you keep getting headaches and chocolate is one of the only cures!!
Well, tomorrow I need to write a sermon based on Isaiah 40 which in a nutshell is a call for hope in despair... I guess I have some good material to go on.